Cooper

Donald McKinley Cooper is a long time friend of Tim and Dave and the one who invited his co-worker Julian to play with them. He is the half-orc barbarian of the party.

His character has a charisma of 4, which is largely responsible for his warty penis, and a propensity to shit himself. He has an intelligence of 7 and a strength of 18.

Languages (Illiterate):

 * Common
 * Orc

Critical Failures I:
Feats
 * Great Axe
 * Crossbow
 * Transformation - Werebear

Quotes
“Now, tell me what business you have in my wood.”

“I'm not interested in your wood,” said Cooper. “As a matter of fact, I thought you were a woman.”

“I don't know,” said Cooper. “I think excessive crotch scratching translates to the same in all languages.” -Bevan, Robert. Hung Ogre (Caverns and Creatures)

Cooper reached with exaggerated slowness into the Bag of Holding. “Dildo,” he said. Cooper felt the hard, veiny wooden cock materialize in his hand. It still had a greasy residue on it. He felt down the shaft to make sure he was holding the penis end, and mentally braced himself for the coming pain.

Trivia
Cooper was responsible for putting in the ad in the paper that brought Mordred to the C&C game in Gulfport. (Book 1)